I recently heard a song called Never Again that I really related to. Every once and a while, I will go on some wild tangent and talk about the guys I dated and what I saw that was both special and despicable about each. This song confronted me with one particular relationship that I involved in and solidified the feelings I have about it today. That feeling is that... yes, I still care about this person... only not on the same level. Unfortunately, it is a level that this person will never get a chance to obtain again at least not with me. Which is sad because I gave this relationship 110%. I fought for it even when it pushed me away with all its might. I saw what it was and what it could have been. That is what kept me holding on to hope. Recently, this person contacted me and poured out his heart. This act made me realize that I could forgive... heck, I could even forget... but I could not go back and be that innocent girl again. I had changed. They say, "Experience makes you wise." I think as I reflect back on this time in my life that I have gain some new found wisdom about love, relationships, people's intentions, regret, and resolution. It makes me value my relationship with my husband so much more. Tristian is head over heals for me. I can tell by the way he hangs on my every word. How he looks at me with so much passion that it often makes me blush ten shades of red. Its in the way, he always wants to be where I am... no matter what I am doing. Or how he is always the first one to say, "I'm sorry," even when it is not his fault. He has returned to my heart faith in love and I will forever be endebted to him for that. Tristian, honey, I love you. Now for the lyrics to the song I heard. I hope it stirs something in you like it did me. ~~~~~ Never Again Would have given up my life for you Guess it's true what they say about love It's blind Girl/Boy, you lied straight to my face Looking in my eyes And I believed you 'cause I loved you more than life And all you had to do Was apologize You didn't say you're sorry I don't understand You don't care that you hurt me And now I'm half the man/woman That I used to be When it was you and me You didn't love me enough... My heart may never mend And you'll never get to love me, again Sadness... Has me at the end of the line Helpless... Watched you break this heart of mine And loneliness... Only wants you back here with me Common sense... Knows that you're not good enough for me And all you had to do Was apologize, and mean it But you didn't say you're sorry I don't understand You don't care that you hurt me And now I'm half the man/woman That I used to be When it was you and me You didn't love me enough... My heart may never mend And you'll never get to love me I wish like hell I could go back in time Maybe then I could see how Forgiveness... Says that I should give you one more try But it's too late, It's. Over. Now You didn't say you're sorry I don't understand You don't care that you hurt me And now I'm half the man/woman That I used to be When it was you and me You didn't love me enough... My heart may never mend And you'll never get to love me... Again... ~~~~~

flowers white swan Thursday, February 28th 2008 @ 12:30 AM